A Lesson from John Kelly and Donald Trump

    If there’s one thing you can say about the nascent Trump administration, it has not been weak in drama. Reince Preibus. Anthony Scaramucci. John Kelly. These are some of the names that have been in the news within the last week or so. Jim Geraghty, writing on the National Review website, shares an incident that happened recently that illustrates for us an important lesson on human nature (http://www.nationalreview.com/morning-jolt/450049/flakes-criticism-trump-not-enough-new-york-times?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=170801_Jolt&utm_term=Jolt).

    It is true that Donald Trump’s ego is as big as his bank account. I suppose the two go together naturally. Yet, the strength of his ego is neither unique to him nor to someone of his wealth. Humans, in general, have pretty strong egos. Which can make it hard to correct them.

    A week or so ago, President Trump named John Kelly as his chief of staff. Kelly is a retired general from the Marines and has been described as a “whip-cracking” general. He served three tours in Iraq. Perhaps his great strength at this point in time is that he is not afraid to speak truth to power. Maybe he is just what the country needs for a White House that seems bent on shooting itself in the foot through a lack of self-discipline. 

    In this one incident, related by Geraghty, General Kelly insisted everyone leave the room so he could talk to Trump alone. Trump refused at first but then relented when Kelly insisted. Here is Geraghty’s take on the event: “Kelly didn’t want anyone else seeing him disagreeing so strongly with the president. Judging from this, when Kelly thinks the president is making a mistake, he’s going to make his views exceptionally clear, but not in a way that undermines the president or implies insufficient respect for the office. Considering how temperamental Trump can be, and the fact that this blunt exchange didn’t lead to Kelly’s dismissal, we should also recognize that perhaps the president is more willing to listen to strong disagreement than his reputation suggests.”

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    Jesus tells us that if we know of a brother’s sin, we should “show him his fault in private” (Matt. 18:15). Few people like to be corrected publicly. It seems to be human nature that if we are “attacked” publicly, we will “save face” and defend ourselves, perhaps even digging in our heels at that moment. We might think more seriously about our actions later, in private, but we tend not to want to admit publicly that we are wrong.

    Thus, the strength and the importance of making these intense confrontations as private as possible. “Even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness” (Gal. 6:1). This, too, suggests a private or small gathering. Give the person time to process the correction. Give the person time to respond privately before making changes publicly. Do you suppose that God knows human nature? That we respond better to correction if it is done privately?

    Keep these thoughts in mind if/when you need to correct your children. Or your spouse. Or someone at church. Or the President of the United States.

–Paul Holland

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