No Ordinary Family

The spiritual health, and to some degree the entire health, of our families depends on an obedient submission to God’s will. God’s word gives us our purpose for life and guidelines for Christian living, including our families. Let’s talk about having an “extra-ordinary” family…

Young people often think or ask themselves, “What is life all about?”  or “Why am I here?” Members of extraordinary families ask themselves those questions, just as the rest of humanity does. But Christian families find answers to those questions in the Good Book.

Solomon said in Proverbs 9:1: “Wisdom has built her house, She has hewn out her seven pillars.” Solomon is saying that a good, solid house, we might say an “extraordinary family,” is built on wisdom, understanding, and knowledge. Wisdom has its source in God and in the fear of the Lord. Knowledge comes from the Word. Understanding integrates the two.

“Seven” is a figure of speech for the majestic house Wisdom has built. It indicates that which is complete or appropriate. Let’s take a closer look at seven “pillars” or “columns” of an extraordinary family…

SEVEN “PILLARS” (+ ONE EXTRA) OF AN EXTRA-ORDINARY FAMILY:

  1. Love. When children see love, they feel loved. Love recognizes that there is a real equality between husband and wife in the marriage relationship (Gal. 3:28). That is relative to our inherent value, of course, not to our role or function in the marriage relationship. But in Ephesians 5:25, Paul tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church.
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  3. Obedience. Children have a will to choose, the will to decide, the will to sort out, and the will to select. Parents need to guide them in choosing a godly purpose for their choices. If our children are going to be different from the world, they have to be parented differently from the world. Obedience is a lifestyle.
  4. Respect. A home built on wisdom is a home whose purpose is to respect. When children are taught to respect mom and dad, they are taught to put worth and value on someone else. It is acting politely and obediently and speaking kindly to them and about them.
  5. Gentleness. Godly parents are parents who are not easily irritated. It causes others around them, especially children, to feel like they have to walk on egg shells. Godly parents are not harsh in how they deal with each other or their children. Gentleness is tenderness.
  6. Discipline. An extraordinary family is a home in which discipline is used. Fathers must exercise self-control even as they are teaching their children self-discipline. Discipline needs to be implemented in the context of instruction, with thoughts toward the long-term.
  7. Wisdom. Knowledge is learned. Wisdom is given from above. We need to teach our children the word of God. Teaching God’s wisdom never occurs in a vacuum. You cannot teach what you do not know and you cannot impart what you do not possess.
  8. Responsibility. Our children will never know the value of hard work unless they see it at home demonstrated in us as parents. Our culture denigrates the Christian work ethic. To many people, work simply finances their pleasure. But that’s not God’s attitude toward work (Eph. 6:5).
  9. Let’s throw in an extra “pillar” to make our house more than complete: Godliness. The apple never falls far from the tree. Leaving a spiritual legacy begins with the personal character of every dad. Who we are determines what we leave behind. Godly children come out of godly homes where godly fathers & mothers live godly lives. We cannot leave what we do not live. We cannot pass on what we do not possess. Having a purpose in life begins deep within ourselves with our own daily walk with God.

Spiritual well-being is a very personal, day-to-day matter in extraordinary families. We need to be committed, as a family, to a spiritual lifestyle that is livable. You can have an extraordinary family if you build your family on God’s seven pillars of wisdom.

–Paul Holland

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