Perfectionism

When the towels need to be folded, there’s more than one way to get the job done. BUT, if you’re a perfectionist there is only ONE way to fold them…the RIGHT way!

Merriam-Webster defines perfection as the doctrine that the perfection of moral character constitutes a person’s highest good. It goes on to describe a perfectionist as having a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.

There are many good aspects of being a perfectionist, such as; preparing in advance, great organizational skills, motivated for excellence, adherence to rules and being performance driven. These are qualities that most of us would strive for.

There is however a darker side of perfectionism. Often times this darker side is what rules the perfectionist’s life and unfortunately the lives of those around them. Some of the negative aspects of being a perfectionist are: procrastination, self-devaluation, anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem. These will often lead the perfectionist into depression and if not cared for timely and properly can even result in suicide. More and more research has been found that shows people who suffer from perfectionism are sadly taking their own lives due to the inability to live up to their own expectations let alone the expectations they feel others have for them.

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The only true way to counteract any negative effects of perfectionism is to first identify yourself as a perfectionist, then realize not everyone else is a perfectionist and most importantly that God created all of us. In Psalm 139:13, David wrote that God knit him together. In verse 14 David thanked God for making him so complex. In Matthew 5:48, Jesus says “Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Jesus is not telling us to be perfect, He is instructing us to live our lives loving one another and striving to be Christ like.

If you are a perfectionist, celebrate the way God made you but understand that God did not make all people perfectionists. If we are to strive to love one another and live a Christ-like life, then we must smooth our ridged expectations of those who are not perfectionists. If you need to be overly punctual, sit down with those who are making you “late” and work through that together in love with God in your presence. If you are not a perfectionist but are married to one, look at the way they fold the towels. Does it really take that much longer to fold them their way? Does it look better when the towels are put away? Realize the significance this insignificant task has on the perfectionist you love. The only way to truly overcome any negative aspect with yourself or the person you love is God. Communicate with each other but most importantly, communicate together with God, Ephesians 5:22-33.

James Pulley

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