Home is where character is first taught. Our parents and grandparents believed in the three “R’s” of good parenting:
Respect for all those in legitimate authority (1 Tim. 2:1-2). Good parents teach good manners.
Responsibility – This means our children will take accountability for their own actions. They are willing to carry out jobs assigned by those in authority.
Resourcefulness – This is “stick-ability.” We have to discourage our children from wanting to quit too early. We need to encourage them to solve their own problems to the extent they can. We need to train them to entertain themselves. I don’t know how often I heard my mom say, “Son, your brother (or sister) does not exist to entertain you.”
Yes, it takes time to train our children properly to do a chore right but we’re trying to create responsible adults and that takes time.
Young children can empty the dishwasher, pick up around the house, vacuum, help fold clothes.
Elementary age children can set the table, wash the dishes, clean bathrooms, and wash floors. I distinctly remember standing on a chair and washing dishes when I was in the first grade.
Teenagers can mow the grass, make a meal, or care for a younger sibling.
A man shared this story from South Africa. He said children are trained from an early age in South Africa to stand at a respectful distance from adults who are talking to one another until there is a pause in the conversation. The child is not allowed to jump into the pause! At the pause, an adult will turn to the child and ask, “Can I help you?” At that point, the child is allowed to speak. Children are trained to do that as early as 3 years old!
That teaches children to think of others first.
Parents of pre-school children should be more concerned about laying the foundations for good character than necessarily trying to jump start their academic success. Studies have consistently found, even in Obama’s Dept of Education, that preschool – Headstart – ultimately does not make any difference in a child’s education. A child who does not go to Headstart, until about the third grade – is at the same level of education or learning as a child who was pushed into schooling at an earlier age.
Children who are taught to listen to and obey parents at home will listen to and obey teachers at school and they are the ones who will do the best in school.
The more our children do what they are supposed to do, the more freedom we can allow them to have. It’s similar to the principle Jesus taught in Luke 19:17: If you are faithful over the little things, you will be given authority over greater things. And, the more freedom we can give our children to make right choices, the more freedom parents can have!
From an early age, parents should teach their children the “three R’s:” Respect, Responsibility, and Resourcefulness.
Paul Holland
