What is love? Sometimes we think love is merely an emotion – a feeling that comes over us. Woody Allen said, “I was nauseous [sic] and tingly all over; I knew I was either in love or had the smallpox!” Is love a feeling, a bundle of nerves and energy and surging chemicals? We’ve described love as a feeling.
What is love? Is it a desire, a longing for someone or something? Mark Twain said, “Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” Sometimes when we have a strong desire for something, we say that we love that thing. If love is a strong desire, then I certainly love ice cream!
The way that we use the word love in English, we might think that it is an emotion or even a desire. How does the Bible present love? It is more than an emotion, and it’s more than a desire. It has been described as “unconditional.” Unconditional love is not an emotion, because we all know emotions can change as quickly and as often as the weather does here in central Kentucky. Unconditional love is not a desire; I may desire ice cream, but I reach a point where I’ve had my fill of it, and then I don’t desire it anymore. While unconditional love may start as an emotional desire for someone, it grows far beyond those components. Unconditional love is an active, ongoing choice to seek what’s best for someone else.
Paul describes this love in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7. He reminds the Corinthians of what love is and what love does.
Love is patient and kind. How many of us struggle with patience? There are certain areas of life where all of us struggle with patience. Perhaps it’s on the road with selfish drivers, or in a relationship with a difficult personality, or at school or the workplace, or perhaps it’s just waiting in line for some purpose. Love is patient. But it’s not just patient; it’s also kind. And these two go hand in hand. It’s hard to be kind when you can’t keep your cool. Love is patient and kind. This means that love does not allow circumstances to dictate behavior.
Love does the following. It rejoices with the truth, and bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. Paul sets rejoicing in the truth in contrast with rejoicing in wrongdoing. 3 John 1:4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” Bearing all things sounds a lot like traditional wedding vows. Biblical love persists “in sickness and in health” and in wealth and poverty.
In saying that love believes all things, does Paul mean that when someone we love is obviously lying, we should believe them anyway? Certainly not! Paul does mean that we should trust one another. Love gives the benefit of the doubt. Biblical hope is more than a simple longing for something. It is an expectation that it will occur. In the context of 1 Corinthians 13, hoping for all things involves the expectation that God will give all that he promised through the Messiah (see vv. 8–13). Love endures all things. This is somewhat similar to bearing all things. While bearing all things involves the particular trial at hand, endurance is the extension of that over the course of a lifetime. Endurance means choosing to love someone not only in his or her situation today but also in his or her situation(s) to come. Knowing what love is and does, let’s take the opportunity to grow in our ability to exhibit it this week.
Clay Leonard
