Bible-Based Parenting: Teach Them to Negotiate

First, the Bible: “So the Lord said, “If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare the whole place on their account” (Genesis 18:26).

Genesis 18 is a good example of God allowing Himself to be approached by man and even to have man “negotiate” with God. God presents Himself as willing to change His plans if man would change his behavior. We see examples of this also in Exodus 32 and Jonah.

We have emphasized that parents are the final authority in the home and I do not wish to undermine at all that point. Certainly, children need to be taught and to learn how to take “no” as an answer. The world is full of “no’s.” Nobody gets their way all the time.

However, as children become older, it is important to teach your children how to negotiate. A husband or wife who refuses to negotiate is a terrible person to live with and an employee or employer who refuses to negotiate is an awful person in the work place. So how can you teach your children how to negotiate without losing your authority?

Here is a suggestion and, of course, that’s all it is. If your child is busy doing something when you want them to do something else, train them. First, they need to acknowledge what you want them to do. We should always make sure our children understand what we want them to do. And a good way to make sure they understand is to repeat back to you what you have told them. So, first, have them acknowledge what you have asked / told them to do.

Secondly, you might have them then point out the issue they are having. Have they just started playing with a toy? Have they just started a TV show? Are they involved in something that would create a problem if it was interrupted? Have them gently and respectfully point that out.

Thirdly, they should then make a counter-proposal with the appropriate humility expressed as they recognize Mom and Dad still have the final say: “Please, instead, may I…?”

You are not relinquishing your authority if you negotiate with your child or compromise with them. You are still keeping your authority and you are showing that you are approachable, flexible, and you are teaching them a skill that will last a lifetime.

Paul Holland

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“Shots Out Of Nowhere”

The story out of Laurel County, Kentucky less than two months ago captured the nation’s attention.  As cars traveled along busy Interstate 75 near London, shots began ringing out.  When the shots stopped, 12 cars had been hit and five people had been injured.  The manhunt focused on a local man who had posted on social media that he was about to “kill a lot of people”.  The hunt ended a few days later when the suspect’s body was found.  He apparently had taken his own life.

It’s déjà vu all over again, as the saying goes.  Today reports tell of drivers on Interstate 40 near Raleigh, North Carolina who have been hit by gunfire.  Six cars have been hit on two different days; one person sustained a wound to their leg, but the others escaped bodily injury.  So far there is no word about a possible suspect, though the hunt is intensifying.

This is another reminder that there are few places on earth where one is not subject to danger.  What seems to be a routine event – for some, a morning commute to work – now is cloaked in possible mayhem.  Who’s to say that the next bullet fired won’t come when we’re the ones driving through that vicinity?  When shots come out of nowhere, anything is possible.

The likelihood of such a sniper crossing our path is low, but there’s another scenario that is more than possible: it’s going to happen!  The warning in 1 Peter 5:8 speaks of this: “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”  Satan stalks each one of us, and he waits for opportune moments to strike.

“Stalk” is the right word for Satan.  The Bible does not describe him as all-knowing; that’s an attribute of God.  But just as a lion stalks its prey, so the devil follows us, observing our choices, our habits, and our weaknesses.  In gathering that arsenal of information, he is plotting a plan to strike, to send temptations like shots out of nowhere.

The spiritual parallel to gunfire is temptation to commit sin.  James 1:14,15 gives valuable information of how temptation operates: “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.  Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”

These people in Kentucky and North Carolina were totally unprepared for the shots fired at them, but Christians have no reason to be taken by surprise.  Further, God provides what we need to defend ourselves when temptations are fired in our direction.  Paul described “the armor of God” in Ephesians 6, and one piece of that armor deserves special notice: “Above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one” (Ephesians 6:16).

As we travel life’s Interstate, let us “be sober, be vigilant”, knowing that Satan will attack us.  By preparing ourselves in advance, his attacks will not penetrate our souls.  May we do all within our power to strengthen our faith and so fend off every shot that comes at us.

Come to the light God offers!  Study His word, the Bible.  Worship Him in spirit and truth (John 4:24).  Get in touch with us if you’d like to discuss these ideas further.

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Copyright, 2024, Timothy D. Hall

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Satan “Works” in Mysterious Ways

A woman by the name of Margaretha Zelle arrived in Paris in 1904. She had only half a franc in her pocket. At that time, thousands of people were immigrating to Paris, but many of them fell into prostitution because there was not work to be done. Margaretha decided to do something different. She began promoting herself as a Hindu mystic. She had traveled with her family to Java and Sumatra when she was young and remembered rituals which had been performed.

Margaretha took on the stage name “Mata Hari” and she would perform her rituals in a room filled with statues and relics from the Hindu religion and from Java. She told stories from the Indian mythologies and folks stories. She became extremely popular. People came from all over to see and hear her. She was even invited to Berlin, Vienna, and Milan.

As reporters began doing their research, they asked questions. And the more questions they asked “Mata Hari,” the more her story changed. It came out that she actually was from the Netherlands. She shared that she had grown up on the island of Java and had spent time in India. In 1905, her name was well known through the streets of Paris.

Eventually, however, her past caught up with her. She was arrested near the end of World War I, tried, convicted, and executed as a German spy. It was during her trial that the facts came out – her real name, her history, and that she was actually from Friesland, Holland and had no Eastern blood in her at all!

But it was her mysterious air that made her so popular. When someone is mysterious, the audience (or public) can make out of them what they want. I have talked to individuals over the years who act like the “Truth” is more complicated, more involved, or even more mysterious than how I have presented it to them.

It is not unlike how Satan tries to make God’s word mysterious or more complicated than it really is. The early false doctrine of Gnosticism suggested that certain individuals had special knowledge (“gnosis”) from God. But Paul argues in passages like Colossians 2 that the fullness of God is found in Jesus Christ (2:9). I have heard that brother Tom Holland was teaching a class at David Lipscomb in homiletics and a student stood up to give a lesson and started with “I’m going to tell you something you probably haven’t heard before.” Brother Holland replied, “You better not.”

There is nothing new in the Scriptures. In my studies of church history, I have learned that there is nothing new or distinctive about what the “churches of Christ” teach. Some other religious group, somewhere, teaches some of the same doctrines that the church teaches, like not using mechanical instruments of music in worship or observing the Lord’s Supper every Lord’s Day. It is because they have studied the same text we have.

The Gospel is no mystery. If we can’t sit down with someone from a different language or culture and study the Scriptures and come to the same understanding (assuming we both have good and honest hearts), then there might be something amiss in our handling of the Scriptures. The Scriptures ought to be self-interpreting, self-enlightening, and self-correcting. Don’t be fooled by Satan working in mysterious ways!

Paul Holland

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In the World You Have Tribulation: “These Things I Have Spoken to You” John 16:33

The words of God, the words ofJesus, are intended to give us both information and comfort.

Underline in your copy of God’s word this phrase every time it appears in this extended discussion by Jesus with His apostles: “These things I have spoken to you:” John 14:25; 15:11; 16:1, 3-4, 6, 12, 25, 33; 17:13. “I have told you before…” John 14:29. “The word which I have spoken” John 15:3.

Among the promises that Jesus gives His apostles on this occasion is that they would be guided by the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus identifies as the “Helper” or “Advocate” or “Comforter” (John 14:16). Jesus also identifies Him as the “Spirit of Truth” (John 14:17). The Spirit would “abide” in the apostles and be in them. In fact, in John 14:24, Jesus states that the word which they heard from Him were not His words, they were words from the Father who sent Him. Jesus was intensely concerned about doing nothing without the Father’s guidance nor teaching anything without the Father’s guidance. Jesus did not do anything based on His own initiative. Half a dozen times Jesus says that He did nothing nor taught anything on His own initiative. In fact, the only thing Jesus did do on His own initiative was offer His life as a sacrifice (John 10:18). In our broader context, notice 14:31: “I do exactly as the Father commanded Me.”

When Paul talked about the second coming of Jesus in 1 Thessalonians 4, and what would happen at that point, he concludes that brief paragraph with the words: “comfort one another with these words” (4:18).

If we are serious about honoring Jesus Christ, despite the tribulations we experience in this world, then we will meditate often, if not daily, on His words. Jesus told these apostles: “If they” – the broader world of Christ’s followers – “kept My word, they will keep yours also” (John 15:20). You can’t set the words of Jesus above the words of the apostles. The teachings of the book of Acts through Revelation, being guided by the Holy Spirit, are not any less powerful or godly or divine than the words of Jesus in the Gospel accounts. Go back to John 13:20 and note these words of our Lord: “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who receives whomever I send [the apostles] receives Me; and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me.”

If you want to walk with Jesus through the tribulations you experience in this life, you must meditate often, if not daily, on the words of God from Scripture. Don’t limit yourself to any one text of Scripture either. Remember that Jesus found strength against the temptations of Satan from the book of Deuteronomy. When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He quoted both Deuteronomy 6:4 and Leviticus 19:18.

Read broadly, read shallowly, study deeply. The psalmist had said in Psalm 1 that the godly man’s “delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night” (1:2). Later, the psalmist will write in Psalm 119:11: “Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.”

Paul Holland

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CHURCH GROWTH TO THE GLORY OF GOD – Total Evangelism

 

The mission of the church is to teach and preach the Gospel, making disciples of Christ (Mt. 28:18-20), who then contribute to bringing other souls to Christ (Lk. 19:10; 2 Tim. 2:2). Ultimately, the work of the church is in regards to what will happen on the day of our Lord (Col. 1:28; 2 Cor. 5:9-10, 18-21). The church makes an eternal difference in the lives people or, in reality, it makes no difference!

So evangelism is much more than a part of the work of the church… it is the work of the church! This is not to say there aren’t other facets of the work of the church, but evangelism certainly is the marching orders of our Lord (In addition to passages already noted, see Mt. 4:19; 5:13-16; Lk. 19:10; Acts 8:4).

Since souls are saved through the Gospel (see Romans 1:16; 1 Cor. 15:1-4; 1; 2 Thes. 1:8-9), and that is the mission of the church, our work is to see that the world hears the Gospel (see Jn. 6:45; Rom. 10:14-17). Through what means? Any that are available! Obviously, the more effective the better.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:22, “To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.” Especially notice the words there, “all means.” Paul used “all means” to bring salvation to lost souls. Of course, that does not mean that He used ungodly or unbiblical means to do so. He actually argued strongly that he did no such thing (see 2 Cor. 4:1-2). Trickery is what is used in desperation… like a team that clearly does not match up to the opponent. The Lord’s church is in no such situation! When we engage the mission of the church, our Lord has promised to be with us! (Mt. 28:18-20).

IMAGINE THE POTENTIAL!
Imagine the potential if everything possible in the church revolved around evangelism or was made more evangelistic. Imagine if evangelism was reflected more on the church calendar, in the church budget, in Bible classes, in sermons, in members being taught how to teach others, and given tools and opportunities. Imagine if humanitarian efforts were designed to open doors to spiritual teaching. Imagine if the Bible School was designed, in part, to reach lost souls. Imagine if the normal activities of the church were used as soul-winning occasions. If we stop and think a little, the opportunities we have are nearly limitless!

TWO MAJOR HINDRANCES
(1) One of the greatest hindrances to evangelism is the church majoring in the minors. It reminds me of the “thorny soil” in the “Parable of the Sower” (see Mt. 13). The thorny soil is the heart that crowds out the Word of God. In a similar manner, it is easy for the church to be busy with many good things, but give little priority to evangelism, the life-blood of the church!

(2) A second hindrance is stopping just short of where we ought to stop. So many of the activities of the church could be so powerfully used for soul-winning if we would carry them one step further. We often invest a lot into the Bible School, VBS, and other events, but we don’t really have any definitive plan to reach people with these efforts. The same could be said of humanitarian efforts.

A FEW PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS:
1. Brainstorming can be a great way to come up with ideas. Begin with good things the church is doing and how they can be used more effectively to reach souls.

2. If we really take these things to heart, it can seem overwhelming. Set goals or areas to prioritize, and go from there. It is easy to spread yourself too thin. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize!

3. Understand that there is no perfect plan. We want to be prayerful and wise in proceeding (but realize that we can always adapt our plans in the future. An imperfect plan is far better than no plan!

4. Keep in mind that no soul will ever be saved that is not taught the Gospel! (See Rom. 1:16; Mk. 16:15-16.) We must always give consideration as to how we cultivate soil and get to that point.

5. We can multiply our efforts by working together in evangelism. All of us have differing abilities and opportunities (see 1 Cor. 3:6-9).

6. Remember that the Lord can work in the lives and hearts of those we are seeking to win to the Lord; and ultimately, it is between them and our Lord. Our task is to present “the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15).

Do what you can to help the church to be more evangelistic in all that it does and keep your eyes open to personal opportunities!

“Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.’” – Matthew 9:37-38

Daren Schroeder

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Bible-Based Parenting: Do Not Be Manipulated

First, the Bible: “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age” (Titus 2:11-12).

God can be appealed to; He can be approached; He will allow His mind to be changed. But He will not be manipulated.

Children are masters at trying to manipulate Mom and Dad. Temper tantrums are just that – trying to manipulate the parents. Jewell threw a temper tantrum one time. She realized it was not in her best interest to do it a second time!

Getting theatrical or emotional outbursts or whining are efforts by a child to entice Mom or Dad to do what the child wants done. When children do that (and when adults do it as well), they illustrate that they are self-centered, that they “love” their agenda more than they value their relationship. Parents do themselves and their children a long-term disservice if they get into negotiating on a continual basis.

Sometimes parents might need to say “no” in order to teach a long-term value such as perseverance or contentment. If you have a child that appears to try to manipulate, first, point it out to them. Perhaps they are too young to realize what they are doing. Also, do not give in to the manipulation and point out that this type of behavior will destroy or weaken relationships in the future. That’s why it should not be condoned or practiced.

Parents are the older, wiser, more mature people and sometimes we have to say “no” or give some other limitation because we can see where a decision might lead. The child will not see it because he or she is too young, too immature, too inexperienced to understand the consequences. That’s why parents have to stand firm and not allow themselves to be manipulated.

Learning to say “no” to ourselves is a key discipline that God requires us to learn. Observe from the text quoted from Titus 2 that grace teaches us to “deny ungodliness and worldly desires.” Learning how to communicate and not manipulate is key to developing a Christ-like character.

Paul Holland

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“Almost Too Late”

Bay Search & Rescue in England received the call about a sheep that was stuck in quicksand on the seashore. A second sheep was spotted in a similar dilemma a few hundred yards away. The animals had been in this condition long enough that the sand gripped them tightly, as tight as concrete, their Facebook post reported. And yet the sand surrounding the sheep was too soft for rescue personnel to walk upon.

Inflatable walkways were put to use, and water hoses to soften the sand gripping the sheep’s feet. The team was able to lift each of the sheep to safety just as the alarm sounded to warn that the tide was about to come in. Just a few minutes later, the sheep would have been submerged in the rising tide at Morecambe Bay with no chance to escape.

The term “quicksand” should alarm anyone who is warned not to proceed further. What may appear to be solid ground is not solid, and quickly gives way when walked upon. As a person struggles to escape, they sink deeper and become trapped. An article on Wikipedia.com claims that it is impossible for a person to entirely sink beneath the surface, but if you’re trapped with a rising tide approaching, that is the mortal danger. You’re not going to escape.

Quicksand is not mentioned in the Bible, but hopelessly stranded sheep are. In Luke 15:4 Jesus told a parable: “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?” The inference is that this sheep was unable to rescue itself; it required intervention, a rescue by a caring shepherd.

Jesus spoke that parable in response to criticism from religious people about His habit of eating with “sinners”, people who were well known for their sinful lifestyles. Following the parable of the lost sheep, Jesus gave this application: “I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance” (Luke 15:7).

Are there any people who don’t need repentance (and thus rescue)? Romans 3:23 provides the quick answer to that question: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Every person who reaches the age of knowing right from wrong will eventually (and often) choose wrong. If they continue in that state, they’re like the sheep in England stuck in quicksand with the tide rising.

1 Timothy 1:15 declares a wonderful message for all “sheep” who are stuck in the quicksand of sin: “This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.” Heaven’s Search & Rescue has been dispatched to rescue sinners in all locations. When Jesus comes to help you, don’t refuse. He is your only hope!

Come to the light God offers! Study His word, the Bible. Worship Him in spirit and truth (John 4:24). Get in touch with us if you’d like to discuss these ideas further.

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Copyright, 2024, Timothy D. Hall

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Encouraging Words ”In Me You Have Peace” John 16:33

From time to time, recently, we have been meditating on the words of Jesus from John 16:33: “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”

In this devotional, I want to focus on Jesus’ promise: “In Me You Have Peace.”

Why does Jesus give us peace? How does Jesus give us mental and spiritual “well-being”? Perhaps you know that the Hebrew word for “peace” is shalom. The concept is that of inner tranquility. It’s the settled conviction of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego that allowed them to tell King Nebuchadnezzar: “our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up” (3:17-18). That, family, is shalom.

What words does Jesus give His apostles in this text that would give them peace, despite the imminent departure for their Master and Friend? In chapter 13, Jesus had washed their feet. In that context, He said He had given them an example of loving service and they should do as He had done. “A slave is not greater than his master, nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them” (13:16-17). You want to enjoy the peace of Christ? Learn to serve others. Allow yourself to be the clay in the hands of the Heavenly Potter. It seems the natural human reaction, when we are discouraged, to withdraw from human interaction including withdrawing from worship with the saints. That is exactly the last thing we need to be doing when we are discouraged! However, I would also urge faithful Christians to keep an eye on others and if they seem to be missing worship, check on them. They might need encouragement.

In the middle of the paragraph about “love” in John 13, Jesus told them “I have loved you” (13:34). In fact, this whole discussion is set in the context of Jesus’ love for His disciples. Observe 13:1: “Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end…” He has this discussion with them. Do you want to enjoy the peace of Christ? Remember that He loves you. Don’t just let those words go into one ear and exit the other. Allow them to sink into your heart. Jesus will use the word “love” thirty-four times in this series of chapters!

I have already reminded us of the encouraging words in John 14:1-4. Jesus is the “way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” When you have tribulation in the world, remind yourself who you are: You are a Christian. And He is coming back to get you. You just have to be faithful unto the end. That’s all.

Paul Holland

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Psalm 95: Praise God for Evangelism

THE LORD IS A GREAT KING ABOVE ALL GODS:
Why should we praise God more? Because He is the King of all the earth. Singing is a natural part of our evangelism. We teach others through our songs: “O Lord My God, when I in awesome wonder consider the worlds thy hands have made, I see the stars. I hear the rolling thunder, thy power throughout the universe displayed. And my soul sings, ‘My God how great thou art!”

God is the King above all gods. He is the Creator of the heavens and the earth. When we praise God as we should, and we give credit to Him as we should, then we must share the message of Christ, the Gospel, with others.

“Of one the Lord has made the race, through one has come the fall. Where sin has gone must go His grace, the Gospel is for all.” Our songs help remind us that we need to be sharing the gospel with others. There are some songs – spiritual songs of course – that I hear and I think about the time I made the decision to go to the mission field. There were songs we sang in chapel either at Freed-Hardeman or at Faulkner University and those songs created a spirit within me that urged me to share the gospel with others.

“If you can’t pray like Peter, if you cannot preach like Paul, go home and tell your neighbor that He died to save us all. There is balm in Gilead (a phrase taken from Jeremiah 8:22) to make the wounded whole; there is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin-sick soul.”

To have the “good” life, you should praise God more so that you will be more or think more evangelistically. It is easy to get tied up in the mundane responsibilities of day-to-day life and forget that the souls around us are lost and dying in sin and they need the Christian with the love of Jesus in their heart to share the gospel of Jesus from their hearts.

Finally, back to Psalm 95…

WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF HIS PASTURE:
“For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.”

We know that the Hebrew writer wrote down his sermon – 13:22 – and I wonder if Hebrews 3:7-11 was a sermon based on his congregation singing Psalm 95 one day during worship. The Hebrew writer cautions Christians about getting apathetic in their Christian walk and then being influenced to leave Christ for something far inferior.

“We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.”

We are God’s people, the sheep of His pasture and our singing should unite us together with one another. We teach and encourage each other through our songs, hymns, and spiritual songs. We are reminded that we are one people and we are encouraging each other to get to heaven. One of the purposes of our worship, which we do through our singing as much as any other act of worship, is to “stimulate one another to love and good works” (Heb. 10:25).

Praise God more!

Paul Holland

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“Trick or Treat”

Halloween is upon us, and with it will come visions of ghosts, little demons and goblins. We will treat them at our doors with assorted sweets or else face their devilish “tricks” (or so says tradition). It is a fun time for kids, and parents alike.

This is a good time to look back at the very first “Trick or Treat” in man’s history. Satan donned his “serpent” mask and came knocking on Eve’s door in the garden of Eden. He “tricked” her in to eating a “treat” which had been forbidden by God. “God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die’” The serpent said to the woman, “you surely will not die!” (Ge. 3:3,4). Satan’s trick upon Eve brought death upon all mankind.

The devil continues today with his tricks of deceptions, and his treats of addictions, crime, murder and worldliness. “One church is as good as another,” “baptism is not necessary to salvation,” or “Once saved always saved,” are deceptions that has Satan’s fingerprints all over them. “And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world!” (Re. 12:9). He wears many masks and has a wardrobe of costumes to deceive the world. Will you to be deceived when he comes knocking on your door?

-Dennis Doughty

 

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