Dealing with Perfectionism

Many of us are perfectionists in certain areas – the areas we are most concerned about or most interested in. Some are perfectionists in nearly every area of life. What’s it like being a perfectionist? Or dealing with perfectionists?

Otto Klemperer was a German-born conductor who died in 1973. Klemperer was very sparing with his praise of the orchestras he conducted. But on one occasion, after a particularly excellent performance, he congratulated the orchestra with an enthusiastic “Good!” The players burst into a spontaneous applause and Klemperer’s smile immediately turned into a frown and he growled, “Not that good.”

Some people cannot be happy with anything short of perfect. It is rooted in the subconscious need for control on one hand and for affirmation on the other. From a spiritual perspective, it is the behavior that suggests someone has put himself/herself in the place of God. The perfectionist either thinks or acts as if he/she is all-knowing, all-powerful, everywhere at once and generally acts like he/she does not have any short-comings.

But if we are to be realistic, we must understand that we will never reach a plateau of permanent perfection as long as we are on this Earth. We need to realize that God makes us perfect in Christ (Phil. 1:6; 2:13) and there is no way we or anyone else can be perfect. We need to cut ourselves and each other some slack.

If we are conscientious, it is true that we will be bothered by our imperfections and weaknesses. Otherwise, there would never be any striving for growth. The point is to realize and engage in self-talk that there are times when it is okay to be exacting and demanding and there are times when it is appropriate to back off.

How do you deal with a perfectionist?
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2.     Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?” Is it really worth losing sleep over?
3.     Remind yourself that God’s love is unconditional.
4.     We, therefore, need to be unconditional in our love for others.
5.     Laugh a little – even at yourself.
6.     Be realistic. Don’t expect the impossible – make sure goals are attainable and reasonable.
7.     Determine when perfectionism is appropriate and when it is not. Learn to accept “good enough” on certain tasks.
8.     It is okay to make mistakes – learn from them.
9.     Try to make sure your heart is perfect before God.

Finally, remember Hebrews 10:14- “For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.”

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