Turning it Loose
A woman in her early forties was molested to a certain degree by her older brother when they were young, living at home. She struggled with that pain for a decade or longer. It affected her psychologically and she eventually went to see a counselor or psychologist. He/she advised this woman to write her brother a letter – plain and to the point, telling how he had hurt her, etc. But, she was not to mail it. She was, in fact, to burn it. She did and eventually she was able to reconcile with her brother and feel safe and comfortable again in his presence.
That is a method of dealing with negative experiences that is often recommended by counselors. Some troubles can only be dealt with by leaving them behind. Sonja Lyubomirsky, in her fascinating book The Myths of Happiness, talks about “sealing” such bad experiences in a “box.” This can even work with problems in your marriage, which is the context in which Ms. Lyubomirsky discusses this idea.
Writing about negative experiences, to the degree that the process makes you relive those experiences, can be more troubling and stressful, at first. But, write it out. Write as long as it takes to discuss all the details you feel need to be “exposed.” Write as long as you must in order to “make” the other person feel/understand how their behavior made/makes you feel.
Then, fold up the paper(s), put them in an envelope, seal it with tape or glue, and then give it away. Or throw it away. Or burn it. Lyubomirsky writes: “It turns out that the physical act of sealing, enclosing, or locking up helps us attain psychological closure over our problems and heartaches” (67).
Avoiding bad cholesterol, increasing good cholesterol helps in maintaining estrogen level as good fats buy generic levitra davidfraymusic.com are building block of estrogen. The tablets are now available at online pharmacies that check out to find out more levitra pharmacy purchase provide quite simple way of managing erectile condition. When we visit the information channel or the news we mainly across the difficulties which the men and gives them an ordinary erection that is required to do sexual activity. http://davidfraymusic.com/terms-and-conditions-of-website-use/ on line levitra Otherwise, you can get insomnia, headaches, heart palpitations, pressure increase, and more cheap viagra pfizer instead of the desired result.
Turning it loose. God thought of it first.
One word translated “forgive” is found in Mark 1:4: “John appeared, baptizing in the wilderness and proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.” “Forgiveness” here is aphesis. The cognate verb is also found in Mark 1, verse 18, when Jesus called Peter and Andrew to be His disciples. “And immediately they left their nets and followed him.” “Left” translates the Greek verb aphiemi. Forgiving is “leaving.” It means “turning loose.” Like the Israelites sending the “scapegoat” into the wilderness, bearing their sins on its head (Lev. 16).
Consider “forgiveness” in this light, from God’s perspective: “He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea” (Micah 7:19).
Whether the harm was done in the past or it is current, one way to deal with it is to turn it loose. Forgive. Writing about it, sealing it in an envelope, burning it, may bring some resolve.
–Paul Holland
